Waiblingen - a year as an exchange student

I was 16 when I was selected to be an exchange student with Congress-Bundestag's scholarship program. (http://www.usagermanyscholarship.org)  I wasn't quite 17 when I left home.

The first few weeks of this particular program take place in a small town (then it was Adenau, but I hear it's somewhere else now). The purpose of this stay is to develop language skills as much as possible before meeting the host family. This is especially necessary because language skills and even language classes are not a requirement to be chosen for this program.  I spent my birthday at the language camp.

They took us on some day trips during camp so that we could see more of the country, and probably so that we could experience bigger cities.  Cochum was one of those trips.  Apparently the castle there is empty. (At least that's what was written in my scrap book...)












I met my host family in September, before school started. (Some exchange students arrive after their school starts because different states start at different times.)  I remember our first meal together quite well.  I was talking with them in English because I wasn't confident in my German skills - I had only had one year of German before going over, and I was quite shy around new people. My host parents kept offering more food and drink, and I was quite full.  They didn't stop asking until I said "nein danke, ich bin satt." They praised the little German and I didn't have to turn down more amazing food.

The rest of the early days are a blur.  I remember spending a lot of time with one of my host sisters, wandering around town with her, getting a tour, some language advice, and getting to know her better.  My host mother took me to get registered as a resident with a student visa and enrolled in the Gymnasium that my host sister would also be at.  We decided I should attend the 11th grade even though most of the students would be a year younger than me because this way I would have one set of classmates and get to know them more easily.

In the beginning, I took all subjects with this class, though I quickly realised I couldn't do French with them (they were in their 3rd year, I believe), Politics was difficult because I didn't understand enough German, and they were in their second year of Physics, a class I had never taken.  My schedule was changed slightly to include extra music, German, and English classes in place of the classes I was struggling in.

I really enjoyed music class in Germany.  We analysed music in a way that I didn't see again until my freshman year of college, studying music.  In fact, one of the pieces we looked at was our first piece in that music course in college.  It was wonderful - I still had all my notes!

English classes were different from foreign language classes here.  We read Animal Farm and analyzed it, just like we do in English here.

History class was another one that interested me - we studied older history.  Pre-America era.  I hadn't been exposed to much of that in a school setting, so it was really intriguing to me.

Religion class in school surprised me too.  You still have three choices in Germany: Catholic, Protestant, or Ethics. I went to the Protestant class.

I still remember one of the first projects in art class - we were to draw an old house.  I drew an "old" American house, which of course is quite modern in Germany.  I couldn't understand why it wasn't acceptable.

Because there was no band in school, my host family found me a French horn to play so that I could join the local church's brass band (Posaunenchor).  It was my first time having to transpose music while playing it, and on a single horn (I was used to a double). I played with the alto voices - another horn and a couple trumpets.  I enjoyed Posaunenchor and the people I got to meet through it.

In October there was a school holiday, so my host family took me on a trip around Germany up to Berlin. It was eye-opening seeing the difference between former East Germany and the west.  We saw the Lutherstädte and Dresden, met up with some of their friends, and of course spent a lot of time in Berlin.  It was during this trip that they told me I need to be speaking more German with them.  Of course, as the shy and less-than-confident teenager I was, I was very upset about that.  I couldn't even tell the difference between when they were using Hoch Deutsch (with me) and Schwäbisch (with each other). Looking back on it, I am so happy they drew the line and set out expectations. I needed it, and it changed how the rest of the year progressed.

For Thanksgiving, the program brought us all back together in Bonn, which was still the capitol at the time.  The Rhein had just experienced a flood when we were there, so as we walked along the river, we saw some destruction of the lower park areas.  It was fun hearing how everyone else was dealing with language and culture differences, but I will never forgive them for the speech:  "By now, you're probably feeling pretty homesick."  Well, I wasn't until you told me I should!

Christmas came and that's when my memory of missing home starts.  It was weird being away from home for Christmas.  I did really enjoy the Weihnachtsmarkt though, and found that I enjoy Glühwein.  We decorated the tree on Christmas Eve.  I remember speaking with my host mother about the real candles, and how we decorate our tree at home (we were a no-colour-theme family to allow the kids to put on their ornaments).  I can't remember how we did Christmas this year (I spent another Christmas there a few years later) - I think my host sister and I went to the kids' service, then we sang Christmas songs and opened presents.  I remember my host mother taking me to the adult service as well, but again, I can't remember if it all happened at the same time.

Time went on and I spent more and more time in the German language. I started understanding more of the stories one of our teachers would tell, and made friends with more of my classmates.

For the Easter holidays my host family took me to Strasbourg, France, and Baden-Baden in Germany.  I enjoyed seeing a different culture within the state I was staying in. They showed me that eating in courses was a French-style, and that Germans tend to prefer getting all their food at once.

In the spring time, the program brought us all together again, this time in Berlin.  Berlin became the capitol of Germany again in January, so I got to see both capitols during this one year.  I was upset that I had to be there though.  I missed a Posaunenchor event for it.  Some of my friends were starting to show struggle with their host families. I felt bad for them - my host family was amazing to and for me, and I couldn't imagine being in a foreign country for so long with a family that wasn't even good to you.  Soon after this visit, one of my friends got pulled home because of the war in Kosovo.  None of us really understood - it seemed so far away to us, but I suppose looking at Germany and Kosovo on a map while in the states, one might think otherwise.  Our country is so big compared to anything over there, so wars that distance away would still be home territory.

The hardest thing was leaving.  It was mid-June, 6 weeks before their school year ended, but the program was over.  My host family became my second family, and I still feel that way about them, even though I don't get to see them much anymore.  My friends there became as close as my friends at home.

But none of that was the worst part...  Everyone warns you about culture shock, but nobody talks about reverse culture shock.  Coming back to a culture I no longer understood.  I asked my mom which garbage to put something in.  I spoke German with her when I was too tired to realize what language I was using and I was so frustrated that she wasn't understanding me.  I had to retrain my body to eat on an American's schedule.  It was hard.  It took 3 months before I became "more American" again, and you can ask anybody who knows me now, I'm not exactly American anymore.  I tend to prefer the company of Europeans, eat European food, and listen to European music.